| you know i should stop chewing my nails but by chewing my nails i have saved a load of money not that i save much anyway but still, the little things count oh and my debit card came in the mail today! like finally... and now i'm on a 4.5% of interest per annum i feel a little smart of my decision but let's see how much i can accumulate at the end of the 2 years i know it's easy to spend than save man i love spending, don't you? i love shopping online, don't you? but i'm going to try ballz. i've been eyeing on this Obesity and Speed top since... forever and my undying love for it has overcome the raging waves of time, it's still in me. alright, i'll not spend it. might just save it up for another pair of... proper jeans which i will eventually wear it out.
i realise i have branded jeans, such as Gap, Levis and Uniqlo (ok maybe not counted) and i've never worn them out before i just buy jeans and... (hahaha) keep jeans maybe i should just term it as 'collect'. i wash, iron and hang those poshy garments into my closet... i think i will go sell it on Ebay on something. i even chose some cheapass 30 dollar non-branded/hoax jeans over those mantra ones sigh.
THIS IS WHAT I WANTED TO BLOG ABOUT TODAY BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT MY JEANXTAPOSITION:
while waiting outside of the english classroom, louisa walked towards me and gave me a stamp on my foot. i flicked her revealing forearm and saw slashing marks. so, being my usual oblivious self, i said smiling at her, "oh wow, you slash yourself!" (in the most un-sarcastic-casual way) . yes i smiled at her because i honestly think that nothing is wrong with slashing your arms/wrist. she just looked at me and burst out in laughter, definitely thinking i was weird reacting to something like that in such a light manner. i mean, i really don't think anything is wrong about slashing. i don't. is there a problem with people slashing themselves if they want/need to? i don't have a problem with that and i don't think it's severely damaging to the individual itself. look, if we were to look at this situation say... 5 years back. hellz yeah it would be something conspicuous and morbid but ever since the y-gen got into the whole fiasco of music scenes and their 'personal relation' to soppy mediocre dark bands with literary lyrics i can only come to a conclusion that what was once an odd fascination/hobby is now the new black. or at least, the dying, new black. and if louisa has that certain bond with self-inflicted pain, i think it's real comforting for her to be proud of her scars and what remains inset on her skin is evidently who and what she is. and i love her for that. she even replied saying, "oh annn... you're so cute!" but that's the truth and that's the beauty of one's knowledge of him/herself; is to be who you really are no matter what other people sees you as. and in lou's case, she was happy that i saw her as her but not for some scene kid who's addicted to ice and suffers from bulimia and prolonged depression.
ok back to 2nd practical report and i'm really tempted for another can of red bull it's unhealthy i know, but i can't fight the urge
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| hi i bought 18 cans of redbull last sunday while it was on sale 2 cans for 4 bucks totally worth it it's tempting because it's within arm's reach and well, it can replace my daily dosage of caffeine... i hope i don't become immuned to it k bye off to commit myself to the realms of literature
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| it's always me who says something wrong, isn't it?
tell you what, if you know things would end like this why man why bother. if i were you i wouldn't even bother to try and hold a decent conversation with me because it wouldn't work, it just wouldn't.
how i wish i can just fucking shake you up and make you see that if you looked closer, you're not alone. take the initiative.
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